my dream log website is DOWN !!! Can't believe. Perhaps I should backup my dreams here on my own website too. This is so stupid
Also I should import my old diary entries here- but it would probably take a lot of time and effort
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so many dreams today again but not really "interesting"
one of them I was a 男娘 wearing oversized coat and very short pants, me and my 女僕frd (real female) are going on a trip to an european country, probably france/ italy, and we just got pass the border control entering the country. And the surroundings are different tax free shops and a lot of other travellers. And some male travellers catcalled me and I felt happy (even a bit thrilled) to be noticed albeit lowkey feeling slightly gross in hindsight. After getting my attention off this "event" I looked around for my female friend but couldn't see her. I walked out of the tax free corridor and entered the grand lobby to phone her, but she said she was already on the next country. I was a bit shocked. (however this dream felt recurrent to me because the lobby was familiar and her reply was the same for one of my dreams before)
the other dream I was queuing up for book fair/ random HK exhibition with my parents. And I saw a AC remote on the table next to me. As I was bored and I felt a tad bit too hot (26C), I wanted to change it to 25C. But I press the remote and the numbers fluctuate so much again (even worse than the one 2 weeks before), this time it can shoot up to like 100C and down to -300C or some shit. And I was annoyed so after trying to press many times I simply hold the button and see what number it jumps to and if I find it reasonable I lift my finger, but the way it jumped was completely random. And when it jumped to very low temperatures I could feel the frosty air blowing onto me and I was very scared, and it also does that for high temperatures. I was a bit freaked out by it so I cried in dream and yell for my dad to come help me (because they moved along with the queue but I was too attentive to the air con so I stopped in my steps)
(this is again aircon, what happened- what if it is a sign for me to not skip finishing the dream from before, maybe i shouldn't have started talking/ analysing the intensive dream last time- but I liked it)
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looking back at my old diary I decided to redo the DES-II test from 2023/11/11
and it is ironic because back then I haven't recalled the incident which led to my PTSD- but I already had the symptoms for it and the test was yelling at me lmfao
fuuucccccckkkk do I actually have bpd whahsdfjkshdgkljsd waaaaaaaaaa
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