aftercare

 ok today i am still 發姣ing 😣💓💋（下刪1000字）老實講arthur遇到我呢啲癡線真係黑仔sls 可惜呀，你已經係我嘅目標對象你走唔甩

目前已知嘅三個client都係infj，而眾所周知“官配”應該係entp但係佢否認咗，咁唔通佢又係infj？四個一齊開infj專屬組會算了

but anyways i think the reason I like masturbating and do self-harm, piercing etc in general are because I like the aftercare part where I can tend and pamper myself

self-care box is also a form of aftercare

maybe I should also do some more trauma aftercare

i still think it is kinda difficult to do so because the basic infrastructure is shit and I need to rebuild the collapsed world from scratch

and then i need to tend and recultivate my inner child as well

in addition to all these uni work

speaking of which there is a clinical attachment opportunity coming up but im not sure if i should go for it or else with such shitty knowledge base I think I am attending just to ruin my name and reputation ngl

so i am technically a slasher with many different jobs - as a therapy client, as a caretaker, as a patient (i think), and as a full-time student! so actually I am working overtime.

I forgot if I have already mentioned it previously but I found those 帶病上學 and 復學 vlogs quite comforting to watch because my circumstances are different yet kinda similar?? though this week I've been avoiding watching 小紅書 because I'm pretty sure my algorithm is already too dark and I kinda get triggered/ had my mood worsened every time I use it lol. So that's why I am still relatively happy (on the horny side) and non-suicidal (only some of the times, but less desperate than previous weeks)（祈求唔好立flag真係生不如死）