so last Fri I skipped the morning practical entirely, not just being late as always. And I realised skipping classes isn't that of a big deal, the world wouldn't end if I skipped a class. Actually no one would care if I was absent. Nobody knows I am absent.
so, I am skipping the morning practical today (Monday) too! AAAAAAAAAAAA not good.
Actually there was a time clash, I can either go for my last psyc lecture, and it was the most interesting one about clinical diagnoses (finally), or, I can go for a biochemistry practical which supposed to be rather interesting too (as we can do lab work) (wait I double checked, it's not experiment, oh lmao great, I'm not that upset now lmao).
And so, I technically skipped both at the same time!
I mean last psyc lecture, the lecturer said he was the social psychology side and he wouldn't really dive into clinical psy side, so yeahhhh I'm slightly not that sad either. And I preread the lecture slides for today, there isn't much "interesting new stuff" that I wanted to hear in person, so I wasn't really missing out on stuff I guess.
(though usually I can always hear some interesting new content even if it appears to be a boring class, so I am pretty sure I missed out on some potentially interesting stuff)
anyways yeah... I'm skipping classes and that's not good. Fortunately it is just the last teaching week of the year (I think), so if I really skipped a lot this week, the impact wouldn't be too big/ long term...?
or maybe I think my room is more comfy so I prefer to stay at home. Aircon, riolu, my room, computer, and my parents are nicer now???? or maybe I kept viewing them with tinted lens so it was my problem after all. fuckkkkk I don't want to admit it lol it was my problem, I created it, and I got upset by it, this sounds so stupid
also I am pretty upset when you said it's just puberty issue, it feels like you're minimizing my problem lol, but at the same time im pretty happy because that means my brain is not pathological...
BRO so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're at it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told them I am skipping this practical !!!!!!!!!!! (and there's only one person out of 11 ppl that went to the practical) Now they are ersdfklhsdfkl;jdf gkl;jdfghjkgdfhjkl
now they are educating me that my groupmates just arent telling me they went! And they're gonna secretly practice without me knowing!
Bro the practical is about glycated hemoglobin, and my mom is just "diabetes is an important topic! you cannot miss it! They just aren't telling you!"
(ok my groupmate sent a pic, theyre actually doing lab work, it's literally just putting samples into a machine and calculating excel sheet like always). Bro it isn't clinical, it's actually not that important for us
but I'm too lazy to argue because skipping classes is wrong in nature lol
and my dad is talking about my groupmates have a poor attitude in studies because they are skipping (that means me too)
and my mum is angry because dad is talking at the same time as her, (actually not)
yesterday they already slightly argued because dad wanted to talk and mum kept starting to talk while he was talking. I was slightly scared in my room lol, I can hear them slightly angry even with my door closed
speaking of arguments, I think sometimes they argued when I was small, but they wont scold or scream, which is nice
so mum only yelled at me but not to my dad, I felt a bit unfair
okokok back to the non-pathological brain, but isn't a delayed rebellious phase means my brain is abnormal?? sigh
how long should a rebellious phase last, if I dont have a reason to be rebellious? For example now, I dont feel they are that bad anymore, so I slowly lost my reason to be rebellious. Also I realised I was more rebellious every time I went on school tours in secondary, in a way I ignore their phone calls. like F2 F3. hmmmmmmmm
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ALSOOOOOOOOOOO wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that doggo x sexual awareness event thingy back in march 14 !!!!!!!! bro it was my first day using my iPhone (not even wearing a case because that time the case hasnt arrived yet) AND I THINK live photo is SUCH AN AMAZING INVENTION so basically I was rewatching that random trivia video about wellness team (I wanted to see if she's a cat person or a dog person, turned out she was assigned another question), and I suddenly had the idea of going through my photos with the doggo because I wanna see if my live photos have captured anyone interesting. THEREEE SHE ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS lMAOOOOOOO I was so hyped lmao
Idk why I still keep on mistyping "she" with "he"
and I felt incredibly stupid because I watched the trivia videos before, and clearly shes a "she" not a "he" but I still managed to see her as a "he"
asjdhasjkd
also even though I said I would ignore him, I was the one who started dming him again LOL I was just reminding him there's a notice the singer event swapped venues. Ok that doesn't count >:o
I remembered you commented something about I wanted closeness maybe hes not. I was slightly shocked because I thought I don't want closeness, it was him! He kept finding new boyfriends. Which to me I think he looks a bit desperate. lol. He's on a quest to find another one now. I remember one time during lunch he told me his boyfriend (ex now) was (in a very quiet voice): “有啲短 頂唔盡”. His face was so red lmao and he asked is that what I wanted to hear, I said yeah haha
i feel kinda bad I kept sharing intel about him and "betraying" him, because during my convo with him, it sounds like he never shared stuff about me to you (although he never told me I couldn't tell you, he didn't say I can either) (but I didn't tell others other than you, and I think you can't possibly share to others anyways yahhahaahahahaahahahahah)
I didn't dare to tell him how much I have exposed lol
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
oh crap i was off topic again, ok maybe I want closeness. You said I want closeness but I am scared of people. I wanted to say "thats why I have dolls !!" but I thought to myself, dolls arent responsive so maybe I am not close to my dolls... but all the dolls I bought have meaning, theyre either my favourite game character or idk, I made a meaning for it. Like riolu. My favourite ones were never those "original random design" type.
I can stay in my room all day all night if I have this doll lol... (not just for masturbating ofc) (ok youre definitely not touching it again)
also quick update on the plant. wilted part continued to be wilted, I suspect it was because I accidentally bent the vine a bit, so it's like you deliberately bent straight plastic straws and the water cant pass through. That part is dead now. On the other hand, the drooping part of the vine became normal again!! The leaves are flat now. It was probably because I overwatered it after that underwatering.
And I realised the soil was moldy! and the stem is slightly furry, that means the mold is slowly climbing up. Probably because of that overwatering. gahhhhh
So i bought cinnamon powder cuz it was supposed to be a natural mold killer.
After a few days I am supposed to buy some new soil and cover the cinammon. Or if it was really bad, I can just repot it with new soil. I need to repot sooner or later anyways. The vine is too long for the small pot.
I was also looking up succulents. Some are really cute. But apparently I need to wait till I finish treating the mold situation, or else it may spread to the succulents.
I think the mold got worse because I opened the door previously. Aaaaaaa that means I am breathing in mold too. Ewwwwwwwww unhealthy. I dont want mold in lungs. But they are not treating their room nor living room, and the corridor too. I mean my mum has attempted to treat it, but bro it doesn't work at all and she used up the whole bottle of mold killer thing. She said she would rebuy it around two weeks ago but still hasnt. Kind of stupid,,,,,, because previously we were treating those tiny bugs on the wooden floor. I invented using those lint roller paper and stick it (while leaving a tiny bit of room for them to come out of the cracks) onto the floor, and it works so so so well, the situation was way better than before. But when I taught her repeatedly, she just couldn't grasp the gist of the technique. I am pretty sure I am a good teacher. So yeah!!!!! She doesn't really try to understand by heart. And she left a bunch of sticker marks on the ground. Which turns black when we walked on it and dirtied the sticky patch.
I mean I could've avoided it or just do it by myself, but it just feels bad when no one else wants to help you on making the house cleaner. She kept asking me to teach her, but I did like 5 times, she should understand by then... and she's supposed to be the housewife and she likes to scold by telling me she took care of the home. Maybe I am just picky but it could be better. Or maybe she's genuinely stupid and she needs actual help from me but I'm ignoring her. But that's impossible, because she's not stupid. She bragged about being top in form for mathematics back in high school lol and she bragged her school is good and there are a lot of famous people in her form and she knows them all.
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wooooffff!!! woof woof ruth ruth
ok thats it im heading back to studying and I'll go practical in the afternoon, bruh it was the pbl prof guy again (the one I skipped on fri)
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